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 A poem

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JoshyIsHere
deltablue
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deltablue
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deltablue


Male Number of posts : 7652
Age : 37
Team : Cyber
Favourite Band : Within Temptation
Location : Exeter/Canterbury
Favourite Band\'s Logo : A poem Withintemptation
Registration date : 2008-07-11

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PostSubject: A poem   A poem Icon_minitimeSat Jul 12, 2008 11:11 am

My stories are far too big for a forum thread, but this is a poem I did about last year.

This is the story of 2007
Started in hell and ended in heaven
So many friends and so much fun
This is my homage to everyone
And all the great times that mattered
Especially when I got really battered
This will be a long work of art
It is about time I got to start

The defining moment was early and lingers
When I gave the poser 2 fingers
The valentines formal was the first event
My friends persuaded me so I went
It saw the best group picture ever
Everyone had their poses, it was so clever
Then the fundraiser for the LHK
Had sweets thanks to Elena the pirate, way-hay
And Tom had his go as a girl
It was unsettling when he tried to give me a whirl
For Paddies day we went on a crawl
Why Bob wore a box confused us all
Easter was boring and I had a sleep
While everyone else went and tagged sheep
When it came to the quiz we were the best
Sorry team badge you’re just like the rest
Even though half of us weren’t even playing
George tossed sweets, Em nicked what I was saying
Thank god for Elena who knew it all
It was good fun though, we had a ball
The last formal came early in the summer
There wasn’t enough wine which was a bit of a bummer
Emily saved the day, bringing all we could need
She did a great job organizing this deed
2 birthdays came in late May
Mine and Steph’s, around exams that was gay
The LHK ball was a great way to end
Steph bit George so she was clearly round the bend
Summer was a bit of a bore
I couldn’t wait ‘til autumn so I could have some more
However seeing old prep school friends was good
Emma and Stephanie were back in the hood
Things resumed when Elena turned 20
Her mates were great so fun was plenty
Then ArcSoc called so to the Ram I go
But at the quiz it was the melon that stole the show
The fireworks party was a night full of fun
So many rockets it was just like a sun
No space to be had for a while anywhere
There were even 4 girls sat on the bottom stair
Work eased off and I was filled with glee
I had quite a few parties to see
First was Emma, t’was a long way to go
All the say up to London was a long way I know
Then seeing Pedley for the first time in a while
Charli still moved with her usual guile
Finally at the end it was time to get down
Jim’s rave cave was the best in town

Emily organized so many things
Sammy was a lovable angel with wings
Tom surfed the waves like a pro
Chris knew of all the great places to go
When Matt wore sunglasses he looked like a twit
The back of a van was what Will often hit
Taffy was the welsh guy we couldn’t understand
Always with a pint glass or can in hand
As a group team badge were the coolest of all
Shame they were too pissed to save max from the wall
Rob ruled Mario Kart, so fast he was hot
Ben drowned his worms more often than not
Pro evo was what Rudie taught me to play
While Dave hammered Wiggy in every way
Kimbell and Charles were as annoying as can be
That’s why I have Lily to take them on with me
Elena thought up of the most amazing stuff
George never thought she was overexcited enough
Steph seemed better behaved than the rest
Those were a few of the guys who were best
Plus Emma could drink all and every night
Charli is still the goddess of love alright.
Rosanna showed she was just as funny
And Tim you’d better start saving that money.
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JoshyIsHere
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Male Number of posts : 129
Age : 33
Team : Grind
Favourite Music Genre : Rock/Metal/Punk
Favourite Band : Hard question!
Registration date : 2008-07-05

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PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem Icon_minitimeSun Oct 05, 2008 12:29 pm

*cough*
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Max
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Male Number of posts : 8603
Age : 33
Team : Black
Favourite Music Genre : Metal
Favourite Band : Fightstar
Current Mood : A poem Lovedup
Favourite Band\'s Logo : A poem Fightstar-1
Registration date : 2008-07-01

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PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem Icon_minitimeSun Oct 05, 2008 2:41 pm

Cough what?
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deltablue
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deltablue


Male Number of posts : 7652
Age : 37
Team : Cyber
Favourite Band : Within Temptation
Location : Exeter/Canterbury
Favourite Band\'s Logo : A poem Withintemptation
Registration date : 2008-07-11

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PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem Icon_minitimeSun Oct 05, 2008 2:42 pm

I doubt he likes it, which is fair enough
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Max
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Max


Male Number of posts : 8603
Age : 33
Team : Black
Favourite Music Genre : Metal
Favourite Band : Fightstar
Current Mood : A poem Lovedup
Favourite Band\'s Logo : A poem Fightstar-1
Registration date : 2008-07-01

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PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem Icon_minitimeSun Oct 05, 2008 2:44 pm

Maybe he's 'coughing' as he felt he should have been included or something Tounge Out
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Shrimp loves RAM forever
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Ruler of the Lands
Shrimp loves RAM forever


Female Number of posts : 7138
Age : 29
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Favourite Band : Several.
Location : N.I.
Current Mood : A poem Hyper
Favourite Band\'s Logo : A poem Mychemicalromance
Registration date : 2008-08-16

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PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem Icon_minitimeSun Oct 05, 2008 2:45 pm

Or maybe because its so long?
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deltablue
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deltablue


Male Number of posts : 7652
Age : 37
Team : Cyber
Favourite Band : Within Temptation
Location : Exeter/Canterbury
Favourite Band\'s Logo : A poem Withintemptation
Registration date : 2008-07-11

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PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem Icon_minitimeSun Oct 05, 2008 2:46 pm

well maybe he didn't like it because it was long. well it was about an entire eventful year.
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Shrimp loves RAM forever
Ruler of the Lands
Ruler of the Lands
Shrimp loves RAM forever


Female Number of posts : 7138
Age : 29
Team : Grind
Favourite Band : Several.
Location : N.I.
Current Mood : A poem Hyper
Favourite Band\'s Logo : A poem Mychemicalromance
Registration date : 2008-08-16

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PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem Icon_minitimeSun Oct 05, 2008 2:47 pm

True, so it couldnt have been short
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deltablue
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deltablue


Male Number of posts : 7652
Age : 37
Team : Cyber
Favourite Band : Within Temptation
Location : Exeter/Canterbury
Favourite Band\'s Logo : A poem Withintemptation
Registration date : 2008-07-11

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PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem Icon_minitimeSun Oct 05, 2008 2:49 pm

it was for facebook so I didn't want to leave stuff out.
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rometal101
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Male Number of posts : 1618
Age : 31
Team : Grind
Registration date : 2008-07-06

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PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem Icon_minitimeSun Oct 05, 2008 4:40 pm

That was a very good/bad poem..I wont lie there were good and bad parts about it...
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deltablue
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deltablue


Male Number of posts : 7652
Age : 37
Team : Cyber
Favourite Band : Within Temptation
Location : Exeter/Canterbury
Favourite Band\'s Logo : A poem Withintemptation
Registration date : 2008-07-11

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PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem Icon_minitimeSun Oct 05, 2008 4:41 pm

you're telling me
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MrsDeathCARRs
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Female Number of posts : 5220
Age : 33
Team : Deathstars
Favourite Music Genre : Deathstars
Favourite Band : Deathstars
Location : Look for Deathstars or Jimmy Carr
Current Mood : A poem Ill
Favourite Band\'s Logo : A poem Deathstars
Registration date : 2008-08-28

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PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem Icon_minitimeSun Oct 05, 2008 6:31 pm

I liked it a lot and I didn't see any bad parts but why not explain what they are?

I write myself and find constructive criticism (telling me what's wrong with something) helps me to improve Excited/Very Happy:D
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deltablue
Moderator
Moderator
deltablue


Male Number of posts : 7652
Age : 37
Team : Cyber
Favourite Band : Within Temptation
Location : Exeter/Canterbury
Favourite Band\'s Logo : A poem Withintemptation
Registration date : 2008-07-11

A poem Empty
PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem Icon_minitimeSun Oct 05, 2008 6:35 pm

sometimes I think I packed a bit much into 1 line
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MrsDeathCARRs
Ruler of the Lands
Ruler of the Lands
MrsDeathCARRs


Female Number of posts : 5220
Age : 33
Team : Deathstars
Favourite Music Genre : Deathstars
Favourite Band : Deathstars
Location : Look for Deathstars or Jimmy Carr
Current Mood : A poem Ill
Favourite Band\'s Logo : A poem Deathstars
Registration date : 2008-08-28

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PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem Icon_minitimeSun Oct 05, 2008 6:37 pm

But it works well or maybe it's the way I read it hehe
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