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deltablue
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PostSubject: scene   Mon Jan 05, 2009 7:50 pm

Well it had to happen eventually. I post some of 'Legend Sentai Deltaranger' on here. However they evolved from an imitation of episode summaries from a site and started out as a page or 2 of very short paragraphs so while they're considerably longer and more detailed now they still look very basic, rushed and simplistic in style compared to Quacky's much better fleshed out and detailed efforts. So don't bother pointing that out as I know thats a massive fault already. As the modern ones are too massive to post in one go I've selected what for me is a landmark scene if only because of how it ends. This one is done like a treasure hunt with various factions going all over the world to find clues left by ancient civilizations as to the whereabouts of a jewel that can grant great power. A few people have just had a lara croft style encounter in a burmese temple and everyone else has caught up and want to deal with some alien rivals that have appeared and knock each other down while they have the opportunity. As my friend James is the main reader everything was self-explanatory for him so I've edited it a bit to clear a few things up but I'm awful at descriptions so they might not all be that useful...

However if they were hoping for a rest they were wrong, they turned to see the explorer style alien as a giant with an equally giant Sanné blasting him with energy. Then all the other rangers started raining down from the sky from various heights, all demorphing due to the force of their landing. “I see there is a glitch in the teleportation system” The fire knight said, sounding very amused, especially when Kiri made a very painful landing though a tree with very thick branches. The rangers all gathered. “Lets hammer them both and get the next clue” Kiri said, the pain still evident in her voice. “ITS MORPHIN TIME” yelled Sophie. Everyone snapped their arms up to their chests to reveal the small mobile-sized coloured Metallic box’s on their wrists. Each with a gold coin embedded within. “WILD ACCESS” “PURPLE STORM, RANGER FORM” “BECKER UP” “TIGERZORD” “SHADOW POWER” “PTERODACTYL” “TIME FOR TITANS” “QUANTUM POWER” “TITANIUM POWER” “RUBY RANGER, REDSTONE POWER” “GO, PLATINUM” “THUNDER POWER” “WILD ACCESS” “EMERALD ANGEL RANGER”. They morphed into their armour. They were like a shiny bodysuit of metal mostly in each person’s colour. There was a belt with a short sword attached at the left hip and a gold disk embedded in the chest with the same symbols as on each person’s coins. “DELTARED, BLAZING LION” (Muffy), “DELTAGOLD, SOARING EAGLE” (Sophie), “DELTAPURPLE, SAMURAI” (Laura), “DELTAYELLOW, RED DRAGON” (Kate), “DELTAWHITE, TIGERZORD” (Kiri), “DELTABLACK, SHADOW” (Vicky), “DELTAPINK, PTERODACTYL” (Jossie), “DELTAGREEN, HAWK” (Letty), “DELTABLUE, Q-REX” (Henry), “DELTASILVER, TITANIUM” (Nick), “DELTARUBY, TYRANNO” (Nicola), “DELTAPLATINUM, PLATINUM” (Jo), “DELTADIAMOND, THUNDERZORD” (James), “DELTASAPPHIRE, SURGING SHARK” (Lydia), “DELTAEMERALD, EMERALD ANGEL” (Cleo). Then they all chorused “LEGEND SENTAI, DELTARANGER”. The rangers called on their zords. A Red CG Lion; Yellow CG eagle; Green gyrocopter (Samurai Star); Red oriental dragon; white tiger; black stealth jet (Time Shadow); pink pterodactyl; green hawk; silver-black-red dino with shoulder laser cannons (Q-rex); space shuttle with solar panels all over (Solarzord); CG orange Stegosaurus; silver lizard-wolf thing with laser cannon on back (Platinumzord); white cyborg with Roman-style armour; light blue wildcat and emerald angel. “STOP THEM” Sanné roared to his generals. Suddenly the Princess Fox, Fire Lion, Ice Wolf and Lightning Dragon appeared. “OK girls, lets combine” said the Knight Princess. She was wearing what looked like a pink minidress over silver leggings and with a coloured cape, boots and gloves. She had a staff with a sort of curved ‘M’ near the top like a guard on a sword and wich had a heart-shaped jewel at the top. Her 3 colleagues were similar but with red, light blue and yellow and with flame, snowflake and lightning bolt symbols instead of the heart. The Dragon’s limbs compacted until it became a torso. The lion and wolf became legs. The Evozord doubled up. One converted to fire mode, the other to glacier mode and they attached as arms. “Lets combine zords” Sophie said. “Hang on, I want to try and get past the line of generals” Laura said and she flew away in her samurai star gyrocopter. The Q-rex and, Time shadow arrive. The Tigerzord reverts to an armless, headless warrior mode. The Red lion jumps on top and the eagle wraps its wings around the Lion’s head. The arms of the Solarzord warrior mode attach as do the shoulders and head of the Q-Rex warrior mode. The Time shadow attached to the back as a jet pack.The Red Dragon straightens out and attaches diagonally to the Time Shadow. The Hawk slides into place on the topside of the left arm while the Pterodactyl compacts and attaches to the front side of the same arm. The Stegazord opens up the back and attaches to the back below the Time Shadow. The Platinumzord reverts to warrior mode and the missile rack and superlaser attach to shoulders and back. The Diamond centurion weapons belt and helmet attaches. The Tiger claws also detach and attach to the hands, the Emerald Angel’s wings attach to the Time shadow and the sonic emitters to the hand palms. “ULTRA DELTAZORD POWER UP”. “Good news guys” Hee-Jae said over Sophie’s morpher. “I’ve finished my slight redesign of the Ultra Deltazord so that Lydia and Nicola can have their primary zords in it. Enjoy this old configuration while you can as it will be the last time you’ll be using it”. The Knight Megazord flew up while hitting Ricky and Gittus with lightning bolts. Then it swooped down and hit both generals with its fists. Charles rammed the side of the Ultra Deltazord with his cane before covering the front with his overcoat. Henry placed his hand over his stand and two powerful green energy blasts blew the overcoat apart. Kate got the Red Dragon weapon as a sword and swung it at Charles. The general raised his cane to block but the blade of fire cut right through it. Laura buzzed around Sanné firing shots at him. Then she put her zord in warrior mode and floated past the master villain hitting him with the blades on the arms of her zord. The explorer monster started attacking her. She got a disk out of a draw and inserted it into a slot. A power sphere appeared and burst open to reveal the bee spinner, a bee-like spinning top. Laura spun it like a top towards the monster. Suddenly the Samurai star was knocked down by the knights, who were barging through. They swept the monsters legs away with a low kick. Unbeknownst to everyone else, the monster dropped the key while Pixie grabbed it and returned to the shadow. Laura returned to her friends and the star attached to the Megazord as a right-arm mounted double cannon. She placed her hand over her stand which glowed purple. The star charged up a powerful double laser attack which it fired to destroy the monster.

While the monster was in its death throes it released a device. A load of components assembled into a massive mechanical lizard. The lizard machine launched fireballs from its mouth to break apart all the Megazords. Sanné and his generals returned to normal size. The Deltaranger tried to get the lizard. The knights attacked the generals. The knight princess whipped up a whirlwind. The other knights added streams of their power to it and they sent it towards the battle, hitting all the generals with their combined elemental powers. Vicky and Jossie made strafing runs in their flying zords to try and attack the lizard but its armour was too tough. Laser cannons emerged from its back and it hit both zords badly. However the openings where the laser cannons now were presented an opportunity. Kiri and Laura used them to leap aboard. They rushed through the lizard. Then they came to a locked door. “Leave this to me” Kiri said. She tapped a few keys in the adjacent pad and the door behind them slid shut, trapping them both. “That’s why we usually don’t” Laura remarked. Suddenly the door they were trying to open started to glow red in one place. Then it started burning away. Through the smoke, the girls could see a pair of glowing red eyes. “So good of you to join me” said a well-known voice. In stepped a girl seemingly made of fluid metal and with curly hair that for now had adopted the appearance of wire. The girls breathed a sigh of relief as they saw it was Bel, speaking normally now the thick Austrian accent that was a side-effect of her transformation had been fixed. They went in further. Suddenly a group of mechanical guards appeared and tore into the three girls. One tossed Laura over the side of a platform, causing her to de-morph. Bel grew long claws on her hands and started ripping the guards apart but there were too many of them and soon both Kiri and herself were surrounded. Laura managed to get back. “PURPLE STORM, RANGER FORM”. She spun her coin to create a whirlwind that blew off her clothes to reveal her ranger suit, of purple spandex with a miniskirt and white gloves and boots with fur lining, then her helmet with 4-pronged star shaped visor blew onto her head in many parts. “SAMURAI POWER” she called in an echoey way. She created a ring of energy with her samurai sabre and used it to blast away the guards that were coming to get her. Some broke off from trapping the other two to attack her. “SAMURAI SPIN” she called out. She spun around quickly to knock those guards away. “Delta Legend Mode”. Her battlizer appeared on her back, like a purple winged jetpack. Her suit also turned to metallic armour like the others. She fired the missiles on the back to free the others. However the blasts hurt them both badly. Laura saw that Kiri was too badly hurt to use her superspeed ability to help her make the jump to the power core and escape in time, and the core was too well shielded for long range energy blasts. She suddenly reverted back into her usual ranger form and locked on to the other two with her morpher before teleporting them away. She ran her fingers along her samurai blade to energize it. She charged towards the leap-off point as the lizard brought down the solarzord, which crashed into the Q-rex, which fell down onto the Platinumzord. Laura powered up to samurai warrior mode which made her suit like the rest, her whole body was energized. She leapt off and started swinging her sword around in a figure of 8. She approached the shell of the core and started swinging her sword. When Kiri and Bel suddenly appeared the other Deltaranger gathered around confused. Jo most of all was wondering where her sister was. Suddenly she had a bad feeling. Then she heard a voice in her head “We win Joanna” it said. Laura’s sword connected with the core and suddenly Laura’s memories of growing up with her family flashed before her eyes. Everyone broke off from their battling to see the lizard explode into a million pieces which burning debris scattered for miles around. Everyone stood to absorb the scene. Jo ran towards the centre of the wreckage crying out. The other Deltaranger followed. Jo reached the very centre and stopped in shock. Right in the middle was Laura’s Samurai sabre, and her morpher, and her samurai star crystal. The others caught up with her and stood at a distance as everyone, both hero and villain alike looking on mournfully. Jo powered down and collapsed to the ground by her sisters possessions, she started crying with the fires still burning around her.

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“Someone once told me that 'time' is a predator that stalks us all our lives. But I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived. After all, we're only mortal.”
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Quacky
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PostSubject: Re: scene   Sun Jan 11, 2009 6:42 pm

I'll bite the bullet and respond, heck dont get any on my story either so i've moved it to a writers one for feedback hehe.. oh where was i? feedback, i had trouble reading it as it's pretty much a wall of text, perhaps if it was spaced out a bit and a tad more descriptive it could be pretty good! one thing came to mind was power rangers hehe, so in a nutshell 'more spaced out and more descriptive' other than that it looks ok, just had trouble reading/understanding it as a whole.
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