A Poem I wrote

Called

"The Roses"

The thunder rumbled.
She ran into the nearest building, drenched.
She looked around the room she’d stepped into, realising she wasn’t the only one in this ‘abandoned’ place.
Everyone in masks and formal wear. A ball. Victorian-style.
A woman spoke now (the hostess?) raven hair, pale skin, raven eyes full of sin. “Let it begin”
Classical music started, everybody danced, swaying to the rhythm of the big band taking their chance.
Now who is this our heroine dances with? Tall and masked he was.
Handsome, though, she could tell, and enjoyed their dance for now.
Blood red roses tumbled down, tumbled to the floor.
Soon the floor was covered, seen by human eyes no more.
“Let it stop now” the hostess bellowed, but still the roses came.
The band kept playing; everyone danced, as the petals fell to the floor more and more. This was no longer a game.
“Enough, enough!” the hostess yelled; distressed.
The roses just fell faster now, faster than before, still covering up more and more of that gorgeous tiled floor.
Our heroine, in a trance, still wrapped in the arms of her man and danced, never noticed just how heavily the roses fell.
The way they brushed her cheek, like a butterfly on a summer’s day, she sighed a happy, happy sigh and danced her troubles away.
Ankle deep in roses now,
Waist deep.
Nobody can move.
But still the roses fell more and more, covering their bodies and the floor.
Covering their faces now, the people gasped for air.
Hours later, sun comes up, nobody is there.
Only lots of rose petals, that have completely filled the room.
Blood seeping through the petals (or coming from them?), somebody should be here soon?
What has happened to our heroine and her man? Locked in an embrace?
The course of true love never did run smooth.
They never had a chance.
Now all they have is each other in death and the memory of that last dance.
Nobody there to see them.
Except who is that phantom man?
His face a sorrowful clown.
For his job t’was to pull a rope and let the roses down.
But, alas, he had not stopped in time.
Had left to go outside.
He comes back at day-break to find this tragedy inside.
Everyone has died.

Wow, thats good, and sad.

Thanks :D

I don't really show my work a lot (wants to be a writer, scared to show her work that's me ) but I thought here would be a good place to start =]

impressive stuff

Thank you :D

Was there anything in particular that's good/needs improvement?

well you didn't try too hard to rhyme like I always do

Thanks for that although d/w about it sometimes rhyming is good, whatever works for you. :D