Poem

I didn't really write this as a poem, but it's not really anything, so poem it shall be.

Please no harsh comments, you have no idea how nervous I feel about posting this.

Edit: Just thought I'd say, I think Linkin Park have been a big influence to this poem, espeacially their song By Myself.

Edit: Taken down for the best if you want to read it, I'll send you it.
NOW PEOPLE, stop jumping to conclusions ffs.

Gemma it's brilliant.

It shows a lot of passion and anger towards the bullies and other people and you're right, you do have great friends and they are a waste of time.

Good work hunny

Gothy wrote:

Gemma it's brilliant.

It shows a lot of passion and anger towards the bullies and other people and you're right, you do have great friends and they are a waste of time.

Good work hunny

Thank you, But im still nervous As I said, I have some of THE best friends in the world

not all of them

Huh? If your refering to "I have THE best friends in the world". I know that, but I have the best friends in the world for me, I need lessons in phrasing things xD

not as much as you think. there were actually big words in that. you're smarter than you've been letting on.

Thats why I think my brain has a school mode and an other mode. What big words?

I didn't notice any particularly big words.

Who needs big big big words, though. It's well written, Gemma.

Yeah, I dont see any big words either.

Its not that well written.

Yeh it is, don't put yourself down it's a srsly good peice of work. :D

Its not that good. And do you have a deathwish?

Gemma, I like the edit. It's brilliant :D

I only changed the first part, mainly because I didn't like how the rest was so different from it. Funny how the oringinal ideas don't always stay.

It flows more easily at the start tbh

It's great. :D

Yaah, it does flow better now, but it's not that good.

Care to point out the grammar errors?

I didn't see any tbh but it'll help her improve (unless she doesn't want you to point stuff out)

Quacky wrote:

Was quite a good poem! a few grammar errors here and there but overall it was a good read. (:

Well for a first attempt at writing a poem, that wasn't for school, I guess a few grammar errors isn't bad.


Oh, no, feel free to point out errors.

well for starters. 'your gonna pay' should be 'you're'

deltablue wrote:

well for starters. 'your gonna pay' should be 'you're'

I never was that good at grammar

This could end up being a long list...

however you shouldn't have put it up

deltaSRS wrote:

well for starters. 'your gonna pay' should be 'you're'

Mmm indeed, still i didnt really notice it and it didnt distract me at all from the poem it is great for a first try and i do think you should continue on. (:

deltablue wrote:

however you shouldn't have put it up

Why?

I've already warned you ages ago about what you post

deltablue wrote:

I've already warned you ages ago about what you post

Sorry for being a bit thick, but what's the problem with posting a poem?