Prepare For Randomness, Aceness & Sara The Awesome Fairy Princess

Like I said in another thread, at e2e today we had to make up a play. There were so many characters half of them didn't get used and the story didn't even make any sense. Chris is always trying to encourage me to do more creative writing etc and I do love writing. So I decided to remember as much as possible and try and make a story (that makes sense) out of everything we used (and didn't use) today.

Here are things I have to include:

Caterpillars
An octopus
Seaweed
A minosaur (cross between a monster and a dinosaur)
An apple tree
A giraffe
Ol' Gregg from The Mighty Boosh http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/baileyhamm/OldGregg.png
A vampire bat
Death
A zombie
A poison leaf
A fairy
Sheep
The King Of The Yeti's
The X-Files
An alien

I'm gonna keep adding more things in so feel free to suggest anything, no matter how random.

Ol' Gregg

That should be an 'interesting' story

But it definitely sounds like a good idea

Gemma, after your sneak preview you probably now see why I mentioned apples so much coz I needed to include apple trees lol
The hairy sheep thing will make sense later

Since it's quite long and I'm not even half way through yet, I could start posting bits now?

Btw, I know it might seem a bit silly sometimes but it's meant to be funny and also trust me it gets more dramatic (well, I do need to include vampire bats, death and errr a giraffe lol idk how I managed to fit them all in!)

Part 1

It was a hot summer’s day and I decided to go for a stroll in the orchard. My father owns this land and village (which is ruled with an iron fist, although don’t believe the rumours. It’s not literally iron!). Our land is famous for it’s apple pies and cider. I quickly threw on my favourite white dress, which is decorated with red apples, grabbed my favourite brown, strappy sandals and set off.
Everything was perfect. The sun was beaming down, hot and bright and I was surrounded by tall glorious apple trees ripe with the red, juicy fruit when, suddenly, a loud noise startled me.
You see, I’m not like you mere mortals. I’m a fairy princess.
At the sound of this unfamiliar and unwelcome noise, I spread my gorgeous (if I say so myself) white wings and shot into the air to get a good look at what was going on below.
All I could see were sheep in the next field over.
“Sheep don’t make that noise” I thought to myself. I also thought some of them looked weird; brown and hairy with human-ish qualities. They, in a weird way reminded me of some of my old fairy friends and acquaintances. And they had no legs. Weird.
Satisfied I couldn’t see anything else, I landed delicately in the middle of the path and continued with my walk.
Heading back to my castle, the largest in all the land, where I live with just my father and several servants I heard another noise, similar to the one earlier and again sprouted my wings and flew up. This time I thought I saw a large, shadowy figure hiding behind a tree. I flew over to investigate.
From behind the tree a green, scaly hand reached out and grabbed me. I struggled to get away but I couldn’t make it!

Part 2 later!

Ol' Gregg!?

Wow, 'tis good :D:D ... is it later yet?

Awww thanks hehe and yes yes, Ol' Gregg's coming up soon.

And yes it's later lol
Here's part 2 & 3

The creature held me up to it’s eye, which was glowing red. I knew instantly what this was. Not quite a monster, not quite a dinosaur. A minosaur (not to be confused with minotaurs!), I had thought they were a myth (or at least extinct)! They used to haunt this land centuries ago but my father and his army drove them out. Nothing more was seen or heard about them.
It put me into it’s mouth, I held my breath waiting for the chew but it didn’t come. He’d just gulped me down.
Urgh! Now my favourite dress is ruined! I’ll have to complain to Daddy about this! He promised these creatures were gone!
I heard a loud, echo-y sneeze. This is an ill minosaur! I hope I don’t catch anything! Urgh! I felt rumbling, like an earthquake. He must be walking somewhere. And grrr the sneezing isn’t stopping!!
Then, what do ya know? With all the sneezing and retching I was suddenly heaved up onto a patch of grass.
Although my best outfit (and my lovely long, blonde, wavy hair!) were ruined, I was glad to have survived my encounter with a minosaur. Now, to go find Daddy.

I tried to walk along, tried to put one foot in front of the other except I didn’t seem to be getting anywhere, just slowly shuffling along. Confused, I tried to fly, only to discover I now no longer have wings, either. What was happening?
It suddenly occurred to me to take a look at my surroundings. I was in a field full of sheep and giant, hairy caterpillars!
One elderly looking caterpillar with a beard and glasses struggled over to me. “And who were you?” he asked me in a kindly voice.
“Sara, the fairy princess” I sniffled. “Who am I now?”
“It’s fairly simple,” he explained. “I’m Ernest, the kindly fairy wizard…”
I had to interrupt him there “I know you! I mean, I remember you. You used to look after me when I was only a fairling” (a fairling is a baby fairy, for those mortals who don’t understand) “you went missing about 300 years ago. We wondered where you went.”
“Yes, yes,” Ernest said. “I did go missing a long time ago, I know no way out of this curse”
“What curse?” I asked him, frightened.
“Well, minosaurs are magical creatures. I actually thought they were a myth. But it turns out they’re real alright, they just like to keep a low profile. In the winter months…”
“On with the curse!” I impatiently cut off his ramblings.
“Well… well… well…” he stuttered “us fairies are very delicate creatures. We alter so easily. The way I’ve figured it, and from what I’ve remembered from my magic books, the saliva of other mystical creatures is sometimes harmful to fairies. Except minosaurs aren’t particularly harmful, they just… change us…”
“CHANGE US?!” I bellowed. I loved my (vaguely) human form and beauty queen looks.
“Yes, change us,” Ernest confirmed. “They seem to change us into giant caterpillars.”
“You mean I look like you?” I retorted.
“See for yourself,” Ol’ Ernie said to me, and helped me further into the field where there was a giant, blue shimmering pond.
I gazed in at my reflection. “I’m hideous!” I cried, staring into the cool waters. I still had my long blonde hair, which was a start. And I had my rosebud cherry (or apple) red lips, and my ice blue eyes. But I was in the body of a disgusting caterpillar!


Parts 4 & 5 later.

Lol, poor caterpillar, being called disgusting

It's good...... it it later yet? (again)

i agree..is it later yet?

itsss a really random yet fun story

Spoiler:

Thanks Gemma and Jazziiee lol Yeh ok it's later

There was a loud, thumping sound and around me (actually, also including me), all the caterpillars and sheep shook. Ahead in the distance was a giant, human foot. Well, I say “giant”. In Fairyland, all human things seem giant as we’re only petite creatures. But t’was a large one, none-the-less.
It come closer and closer, squishing some of the other caterpillars then kicking Ernest, catapulting him into the sky and sending him far, far away. I curled up into a ball in the hope that I wouldn’t attract attention to myself, although it seemed to have the opposite effect. The human foot, obviously mistaking me for some kind of ball, kicked me into the pond!
“BUT I CAN’T SWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM” I yelled, but it was too late. I landed with a terrifyingly loud splash. Everything went black.

I woke up with a slight fuzzy head and a vague memory of what had “happened”. “Must have been a dream” I told myself. Then I looked around.
This wasn’t my bedroom. My bedroom was light and airy with pink walls, mirrors everywhere, huge wardrobes to store my clothes and shoes and tables and tables of makeup and perfume and other girly bits. This place was hideous! Dark, dank and smelt fishy.
I sat up, groaning and looked around.
Swinging my legs over the bed and burying my feet into the soft blue rug, I got a bit of a shock when the “rug” made a muffled sound. I pushed my feet into it harder. Yes, it definitely did make a noise. I pulled my feet off of whatever it was.
“Hey! What did ya do that for?”
“That’s really strange” I thought to myself. A thick, New York accent coming from my new rug. I took a closer look. That’s no rug!
“Billy, the octopus. Pleased to make your acquaintance, m’lady.” The “rug” said, and swam up so I could see it properly.
“Sara” I giggled. Billy was nice.

Random, definitely....

Later yet?

is it later nooooooow?

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Thanks guys lol YES IT'S LATER

Billy the octopus spent the day showing me around my new water home. I was amazed I could breathe underwater! This was a new skill I didn’t mind (although I now seemed to have an allergy to seaweed, which is a delicacy in Fairyland and one of my favourite foods).
I also enjoyed talking to this weird guy who lived near us. He was called Ol’ Gregg and kept telling me about Howard wanting his funk. I figured that was a thing humans understood that us fairies just don’t get so I left him to it.
I liked our other neighbour best. He was a small sponge. Strange house, though. It was a pineapple! Yep you heard that right: a pineapple under the sea. How original! Starting to smell a bit, though. I think he needs a new one. Pineapples go off pretty quick. I hear melons are good!

A hundred years I spent under that sea (although in human terms that’s about 8 months) and I eventually started to miss everything about the land. So I was in luck when Ernest was kicked down here one day, the same unfortunate way I had been. When he had been kicked before, he had landed in a library which was filled with magical books and Ernest had somehow managed to read them. We caught up with the latest gossip and I told him how great life underwater was, even though I missed land. He said he could help me get back and mumbled some words I couldn’t make out. I was then suddenly thrown out of the water by a magical force. High up above the waves, I felt my body transforming again back to how I was meant to be. A fairy, finally!

(more to come)

WRITE MORE...(:

It was nice to be free again. I felt so free when I was flying with the wind beneath my wings, taking me along with it, wherever it wanted to go.
I closed my eyes and lay back, just letting the cool evening breeze do it’s thing when I was suddenly smashed against a large iron bar. “”What’s this?” I thought, curious as I had never seen anything like it. I flew back a bit. It was a big cage. Very big. I looked around. Lots of big cages, all containing big animals. This one was very tall (even by humans standards). I found the plaque with it’s name on. A giraffe. It was beautiful.
I enjoyed watching the giraffe for a while. The way it snatched the leaves from the trees with it’s long, graceful tongue.
Then I spied a dark cave. It reminded me of the cave I lived in underwater, next to Pineapple boy and Ol’ Gregg. I went in to see what it was all about.
Boy, it sure was dark in there. And what’s this? ARRRGH this terrible loud screeching and it’s right near me. It’s huge and furry.
I tried to get out but it was so dark, I couldn’t see the exit.
I went to a corner and curled up in a ball, hoping whatever was in here would back away.
After what seemed like hours (although in human terms, that’s probably seconds), this thing did go away and I could no longer see, smell, feel or hear it.
I eventually found the exit, too. I found the name plaque outside.
“Vampire bats”
I made a mental note to never go near one again.

“Roll up, roll up! A rare sight indeed! £25, only £25” it was a man with a megaphone. On his green jacket it said “Tedd, head zookeeper at London Zoo” I assumed that’s where I was. I wondered what Tedd was promoting. A crowd had formed around him and handed him what I believe humans call “money”. Us fairies don’t have such a thing, although the Tooth Fairy does leave little children gold coins sometimes, in exchange for their teeth.
I had no money, but was small enough not to be noticed (not that humans can see fairies anyway. Only small children or those who truly believe) so I tagged along anyway, whizzing in and out of the crowd.
“Only £25 to see the King Of The Yetis” Tedd bellowed.
A yeti! Oooh how exciting!

No more til tomorrow
Unless you ask nicely

Can you post more pleeaase??

Was that nice enough

You didn't say pwetty pwease with a cherry on top

If you want to read more I guess I could post more lol
I don't wanna over-post and people will be like "there's too much to read" LOL

But I think you're the only ones reading it

itss adictive O_o"
(;

Thanks lol

I've been writing more all afternoon and the story keeps getting more and more random. I've even been asking people to throw in suggestions of things I could add into it, make it funner.
It could go on for a while lol
So much fun, though.

Here's a bit more:

After waiting for what seemed like forever (and that’s in human terms!) we finally set off, following Tedd up a huge slope, the warm weather growing colder and colder the higher we got.
We stopped at the mouth of a cave.
“Not another vampire bat, I hope” I chuckled to myself, although all the humans heard was a faint buzzing, which caused great panic and cries of “BEE! BEE!”
I’ll never understand you humans, but you do make me laugh.
When the chaos had calmed down and Tedd had reassured people that there is no bee, we entered the cave, Tedd pointing a flashlight so we could see where we were going.
Then nothing but a low, rumbling, growling noise.
“This, folks, is The King Of The Yeti’s. Only discovered on Tuesday and seen by human eyes only twice!”
The big white fluffy thing with glowing green eyes was chained up to the wall. “How inhumane” I cried, only to start more “BEE!” shouts. I later found out that someone in the audience was deathly allergic to bees. If I’d’ve known that I woulda shut up!
Tedd went over to The Yeti King and fed him a giant leaf of some sort. He hungrily ate the leaf and pointed to a pile of them, greedily wanting another.

I realised I was hungry and hadn’t eaten for days. The Yeti King seemed to enjoy the leaves of an as yet undiscovered plant species (well, now they’ve been discovered. They were found along with the Yeti. I just mean they were undiscovered, so therefore don’t have a name).
I took a small bite out of the leaf at first. I’ve never been a fan of eating my greens. Good job, too as this particular type of leaf is poison to fairies!
Lucky, since I didn’t have much, I just felt a bit woozy, as if I’d drunk one too many glasses of wine with my dinner. Not that Daddy usually let me drink, me being only 200 and all.

"BEE!"

This just get randomer and randomer doesn't it?

All you need now is some giant talking marshmallows

Wait til the later chapters

errrrm ok I can do marshmallows!

Here's some more parts.

My outing at the zoo was fun but I really needed to get back to my castle. After sleeping off the poison leaf, I felt refreshed and ready for my journey home, although I had no idea which direction to head in.
Flitting about and getting a bit panicky, I decided to ask someone for directions. But humans can’t hear me, dammit!
Wait a sec, who’s that fella looking at me? I can’t see his face and he’s shrouded by a black cloak. Why’s he carrying an axe? Oh well, looks friendly enough.
“Excuse me,” I squeaked.
The figure looked at me, pointed and boomed in a deep, scary voice “it’s not your time yet!”
“Huh?” I asked, confused.
“How can you see me, Small One?” It bellowed at me. “Nobody should be able to until I go to them, for I am Death!”
Me, suddenly scared now, backed away “I’m a fairy,” I explained. “I’m able to see mythical creatures and other things that humans can’t. Please, I don’t want to die!” I managed to stammer. “I just want to find my way home!”
“Oh that explains it.” Death said, suddenly warm and friendly “Where do you live, honey?”
I told him and he happily gave me directions before he turned and followed a man who was crossing the road. Death pulled his cloak around the man’s head and suddenly a speeding truck went by, crushing both Death and the poor man. Death disappeared in a puff of black smoke as the man lay there, motionless.

I’ve never liked seeing people be hurt, so I went over to the corpse and sprinkled some fairy dust over it, hoping the man would rise up and Death’s curse would be broken.
He regenerated and pulled himself slowly up and walked around. He stumbles a lot but I suppose that’s to be expected. Then he started saying he wanted to eat some brains. Woops! Wrong dust! I raised a zombie, not restored life. There was lots of screaming and someone called the police so I skedaddled outta there pretty damn fast. Let the humans deal with it.
I noticed two strange humans I’d never seen before. They referred to each other as Agent Mulder (the male) and Agent Scully (the female) and both seemed mighty interested in the walking corpse, talking about taking it back to a lab for scientific analysis.

did you mix cocaine into this story coz im srsly addicted O.O

I can add cocaine into it I guess although my knowledge of drugs is very limited.
Thanks though :D

Here's some more:

I started back on my journey home and after many days of travelling through the Candycane Forest I had to go through Typo City, which I love. I flew over the chocolate river (where the swans with chocolate-proof coating swam) several times. I also loved the pink and blue shiny unicorns dancing near the rainbow although there was a strange, small house blasting out My Chemical Romance where a vampire bunny rabbit and a cat that appeared to be stalking a rat were all dancing around the garden. I’ve heard of werewolf-bunnies (my friend Gemma was one) but not vampire ones! How curious!
I continued to fly past Typo City and through Wrong Word Lane. Straight ahead I saw the orchard, and high on a hill above the orchard my father’s castle and something weird hovering above it.
I blinked to clear my vision. I must be seeing things.
Blinked again.
Nope. That is definitely a UFO!
I quickly flew closer to the castle and soon reached the doorway. I went in as quietly as I could and took the stairway from the attic to the roof. I could see the UFO up close now. From the bottom of the spacecraft, I saw a small silver head with big black eyes poke out and look at me quizzically. It made a sort of high-pitched gibbering noise and went back inside.
The craft took off into the sky, getting smaller and smaller the higher it got until I didn’t see it again.

“Daddy!” I called out.
No answer.
“Daddy! Are you here?”
Still no reply.
I jumped as I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was our butler, Juan. “Ms Sara, your father, he not in right now. He be back around 9” Juan said in his usual broken English.
While waiting for my dad I went to my room and got out my laptop. Obviously the first thing I checked was the Rock & Metal (RAM) forums. Even though it’s practically been taken over by an evil spamming duck, it’s still a pretty decent site. There were no new posts besides Henry and the duck arguing again and Max telling Gothy not to stare at him in e2e (why would she stare at him? I’ll never understand humans) so I shut the pc off and picked up my phone to see if I had any text messages.
“Meet me on the beach at midnight x” from an unknown number.
“Must be Gemma or Jazziiee who’ve changed their number and forgotten to inform me” I thought. Jazziiee the witch was so sweet but very clumsy and Gemma the were-rabbit was crazy but us three hung out a lot. We had such fun, often venturing into Typo City or other such places and always on RAM.

awhh
im clumsy :L:L

(:
awesomeness

Yep. You get clumsier later

Here's some more:

I still had a couple of hours to kill until Dad got home so I decided to bake a cake. That’ll eat up some time. And then I can eat it. Funny how things work out like that. Or, not really. Right, cake. I could do that. I didn’t need Juan or Betty (my personal chef) or anyone to tell me what to do. After my adventures underwater and at the zoo I knew I could now take care of myself. The fact I’ve only ever set foot in the kitchen once in my life will not put me off.
I grabbed a cookbook off the shelf and started reading.
“Eggs, flour…” I mumbled the ingredients to myself. Seems we have everything.
I put everything in the bowl then waited for it to magically mix together by itself, puzzled when it didn’t turn into a cake.
After staring at the bowl full of ingredients for a few hours I decided I would call Betty.
Nobody told me I had to crack the eggs and pour the flour out of the bag!
If they had told me, I swear I wouldn’t have needed Betty.
After the cake was baked and cooled I had a slice and noticed the time. Daddy should be home by now.
I vacated the kitchen quarters and made my way to the library. That was usually where he could be found. Ever since Mother was taken by a dragon and my baby sister, Rachel, was snatched from her arms and carried off far into the night all he ever seemed to do was sit there in his leather chair, pretending to read a book. He’d been “reading” the same page for almost 20 years, barely looking up for anything and hardly speaking to anybody.
There he was sat in the same position, with the same book on the same page as usual. I wondered over to him and tapped him lightly on the shoulder.
“Daddy…”
“Not now, dear,” he sighed. “I’m reading!”
“Yes, of course,” I said. “Don’t you want to know where I’ve been?”
“You left?” He muttered and went back to his “reading”.
Sighing, I turned and walked away. Went back on my laptop to see if there were any new posts on RAM. A few new members. I wondered if any of them would become regulars, although I liked that RAM was quite a small community and everyone got on so well together. Even Henry and Quacky (as the duck was known) had their moments sometimes.

Yaaay, I'm a crazy were-bunny

When's the next bit being posted? :D:D

You're in it a lot more later

Now?

After a few hours on RAM’s favourite “Ban The Previous Poster” thread, time really had flown and I noticed it was already 11.45. I had to get to the beach in 15 minutes to meet Jazziiee and/or Gemma!
I got changed into my favourite pink top and blue denim shorts and flew out the window, down the hill, past Typo City again (where it seems My Chemical Romance had actually joined the rabbit, rat and cat in their garden party. Looked like fun. If it’s still going on the way home I must remember to stop off there).
I finally reached the beach and saw the way the full moon was glistening on the waves and the way the stars twinkled next to it. Such a beautiful sight. With a couple of minutes to spare I hovered above the sea for a while, trying to peer down into it and see if I could see Billy, Pineapple Boy (I never learned his name, but maybe it really was “Pineapple Boy”) or Ol’ Gregg but it was too dark to see anything.
My mind was wandering to thoughts of Pineapple Boy and if he’s yet moved into a melon or maybe a pear? Now that would be a cool house. Maybe I should live in a pear… When something broke my thoughts.
I went closer to the shore and there, shimmering in a pink and yellow light I saw who I thought was my mother looking as glamorous as ever and next to her… that must be my baby sister, Rachel. She looked a lot older to how I remember her. She was obviously a lot older and she was dressed kinda punky with what I believe humans call a “Scene Kid” hair-do.
“S’up!” called Rachel as she flew over to me and playfully punched me in the arm. “I’m Rach!”
“What? But… how? I don’t understand… Oh it’s so good to see you again” I stammered to them.
My mother gave me a big cuddle and explained how that night she was out walking in the orchard with Rachel in her arms, a dragon had flown down and captured them. It took them back to it’s lair but instead of eating them, nurtured them. The dragon (“who’s called Kevin” Rachel had added, although I’m not sure what that added to the story. Guess she just wanted to be heard) was going through some hard times. He had recently broken up with his girlfriend (“who was also a dragon,” Rachel had chimed in “and not a ‘real’ girl”). The dragon (“Kevin!” Rachel butted in) had said if my mother could only mend his broken heart then her and her daughter would be free to go.
Mother had come from a poor background and had married into royalty when she met Father, so her fairy queen powers weren’t so strong. It took her a long time but she eventually managed to help Kevin and he let her and Rachel (who insisted on being called Rach) go.

After our reunion we hurried back to the castle (MCR party still going on in Typo City, I must check that out!) and the look on Juan’s face was hilarious when he opened the door.
I had told Mother that Father didn’t leave the library so she headed straight there. Rach stomped upstairs, slammed the door to the guest room and blared Trivium loudly from the CD player.